You are going to have to be awoman, at least on the phones and at least while you work here for me.Can you do that, John?"When Jennifer said this to me, my heart sank and I nearly fainted. It wasas if the best thing that was starting to happen for me was going to betaken away. My hopes of being on this team, of helping women and maybefinding some friends, everything seemed to be at risk.I knew that she wanted an answer right now, and I also knew that I feltbroken and exhausted, totally vulnerable and at risk myself for some kindof meltdown. I was holding on to this job for dear life and simply couldnot lose it. I must have lost track of time when Jennifer startled me bysaying,"I need a decision now, right now. What are you going to do John? Give meyour new name OR turn in your ID, gather your things and walk away. I'vegot no time to waste if I need to bring in a new girl. Are you ready tobe a girl at work? Are you one of us, or are you just a quivering wimpyexcuse for a man? You. Then it came the ripping of flesh. Everythingbecame a ruthless fog of unrelenting pain. Insanity engulfed her. Everythingthat had made her human was lost for long moments. She was nothing more thana breathing bleeding slab of meat. Pain flowed like water leaving no part untouched.She lost control of her bowels as she realized that hell did exist and shewas living in it. Then she knew nothing. As her eyes opened she realized time had lost all meaning. She had no cluehow long she had been here. How long they'd had control of her world. Hours,days, weeks, years, it could have been any of these. The darkness she encounteredwas complete. The gag in her mouth makes breathing next to impossible.She's upright, her legs bent back, attached to a bar. Her spine and shouldersarched as far as they could go. Her mutilated body is beginning to loosethe fight for survival as she weakens. She has gone beyond pain into ahazy world of numbness."Father, No God fearing good Christian woman would loose.
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